Vacancy

Written on April 10th, 2015

every morning I have to wake up to a vacancy sign
in the place where your support is supposed to be
I don’t know what’s worse –
the emptiness, or the burn in my throat that’s all too real
I can’t take a single step without memories threatening to breach the floodgates I created in your absence
I never thought I’d need walls,
but I sure as hell never thought you’d leave

places that were once my escape I now avoid like they’re diseased
I have no immune system that could stand up to your antibodies
and yes, I’ve changed – the only way out was through
you can’t reprimand me for something I was forced to do

but we know that the dust always settles and the hurricane fades
in the peace of the rubble I find I’m the only one who stayed
I can’t quite recoil from it all, my hand is still trying to reach yours
but you’re the one who’s a ghost
and I can’t pass through slammed doors