Tidal Waves and Hurricanes

Written on April 3rd, 2017

I do not feel things in trickles or raindrops or teaspoons
I feel them in tidal waves and hurricanes
Raging floods of my humanity that sweep aside rational thought, crests of emotion deep enough to drown
I do not simmer, I burn
Foam boiling over my rims until it extinguishes the very flame it just birthed
I do not worry, I obsess
And sometimes I don’t love, I possess
I breathe chaos into the world, stain my sheets with tears, wake up to the sun and radiate joy
I do not feel things in increments or tally marks or inches
I feel them in miles and mountains and shouts
I do not know sadness but cross paths with despair
Linking arms with elation, releasing monsoons and earthquakes and avalanches of life
But never just a spring rain
I do not know what it is like to be mild
How do I water myself down without dissolving away?
I exist in extremes, in contrast, contradictions of proportion
Full of everything at once, overflowing with emptiness
I do not feel things politely, with a soft voice, please and thank you
I feel them with volume and fervor and depth
I do not cry in trickles or raindrops or teaspoons
My eyes burst with tidal waves and hurricanes